Here’s some of the feedback I’ve received from my lovely clients, during my time as a fitness instructor. I’m also happy to report that I’ve learned a colourful array of new swearwords from the names y’all call me when I say the word “burpees” to you. Yeah you hate me but you STILL TURN UP FOR A BEASTING EVERY WEEK THOUGH, DON’T YA?!
“I had to get help putting my jacket on for FOUR DAYS after your boxing class last week! – Esme
“I hate you” – Most people
“If you make us do that again, I’ll kill you” – Charlie
“YOU MADE ME SO STRONG I SNAPPED A KEY IN A PADLOCK! I broke metal!… It was probably quite weak already though. Also, now my lock is broken.” – Simon
“what FRESH HELL was that exercise all about?!!!” – Charlie
“I had sweat drip into my mouth at one point. I. Ate. My. Own. Sweat. That’s actually inhumane.” – Trinni
“I cannot believe I’m going to tell you this but I got stuck on the loo after all those squats in your class the other day…I thought I was going to have to sit there for the rest of the week!” – Anon #1
“I had to use the wall to lower myself onto the loo yesterday. TWO DAYS after your class. What did you do to me?!” – Anon #2
(um.. is it just me or is anyone else sensing a theme here…?)
“I got stuck sitting on the toilet and couldn’t get up because of your class!” – Anon #3
(and some of you even take the time to send me messages to let me know how you’re feeling. Obviously, I respond with nothing but sympathy.)
Always wanted to experience what it’s like to be a jellyfish? I’m here to help!
And then there’s this one – nothing like administering a bit of medieval torture to brighten up your average lunchtime bootcamp, ay?
You’re welcome. You’re so very welcome.
Click here to book into one of my classes in Bristol & Bath if you want to get stuck on the loo, hurt for the next four days, or channel your hate towards a really annoying woman who won’t stop smiling (me).