It was 2013 and I was a normal girl with a normal job in a scummy little flat in Bermondsey. Life was just kind of happening to me, and I wasn’t paying much attention to it. I took a good look at myself on my 29th birthday, and admitted that I felt uncomfortable in my own skin, and in my own head.
I promptly put on my trainers and spent the night of my birthday going for what shall hereby be named The Saddest Little Run Ever. I needed some thinking space.
On this sad, flailing journey along the Thames, I did some soul searching. I realised I was unhappy with almost every area of my life; home, work, social life, interests, how I looked… I was constantly trawling internet dating websites to the point where it wasn’t even fun, and turning up on first dates expecting to meet someone who would magically make me happy.
It dawned on me that it was probably time I took responsibility for my own happiness, instead of blaming everything from a first date to the looming shadow of reaching 30. Time to re-address how I was living my life. I wanted to reach 30 and have a body I felt comfortable being “me” in, and a mind I felt like I wasn’t fighting with, every single day.
Project Hot Bitch was born. At first, it was just that- a project. Something the girls and I at work used to joke about. “What you doing tonight?” we’d ask each other. “Going spinning! Project Hot Bitch is well under way!” would be the reply. It was funny. It kept us going.
Project Hot Bitch v1.0 for me saw me exercising like a mad woman for about 5 weeks. Anything and everything I could do to keep myself out of my grotty flat-share, keep my body feeling healthier and keep endorphines firing. I was doing this for me and no one else. I was spending lots of time getting to know myself, treating myself nicely, and learning to like myself again.
Although I wouldn’t recommend going from sedentary to crazy-exercise-lady in a 5 week period, it actually made me feel pretty great. I didn’t really know what I was hoping to achieve when I started it, but by the end, I liked my extra energy. I liked the tiny changes to my body. I actually just liked myself a bit more. I was hooked.
That was Spring 2013. By August of that year, I’d started to feel better in my job, I’d moved to a far happier house, and I’d banned myself from online dating for the rest of the year. A crude first attempt at a blog burst into life. My confidence was growing for the first time in 29 anxious years.
The classes continued. I felt like these fitness classes were where I could go to goof about and be myself. They were making me happy. And the happier I got, the more I wanted to look after myself and my health. It was a pretty compelling cycle to be “stuck” in, and one I absolutely advocate to women today.
And now? I’m still just little old me- a normal girl who likes cake and cheese, who can’t do a press-up, and who whines about how cold it is outside when the alarm goes off for an optimistic 6.30am run.
The only difference is I feel a really flippin’ happy in my skin nowadays. I weigh the same as I did back in 2013, but I have changed shape. I’ve become a lot stronger and I feel full of life and quietly confident in my own skin. I like my body now. I am friends with my mind. Happiness and healthiness have gone hand in hand for me; Project Hot Bitch has become my mantra, and a way of life.
This blog is both a hug and a high five to other women who have arrived here, perhaps recognising the anxious, lost girl I’ve described above. Maybe we’ve all got these niggly self-doubts to some degree. Girl, I’m here to tell you, you are NOT alone. Today- you become a Hot Bitch. Welcome to the club.
Today, you look at your body and you be nice to it. You get your ass to class. You let yourself be free to goof about, and you champion and support other women who are doing the same. You do something that makes you happy. This isn’t about starving yourself or giving two sh*ts about what size you are. This is about liking yourself, and becoming comfortable and confident with what you’ve got, because life’s far more fulfilling when you’re not fighting against who you are.
Ok, got it?! Great- now, get reading the Reviews – there are about a MILLION classes you can sign up to and get sweaty at! You can also read more about what I’ve been up to on this journey at Blog Posts too. Hell, you can even buy the hoodie in the Shop to display the start of your Hot Bitch journey to the world!
Hot Bitch- promise me this. Today is the day you put out into the world what you want back. Today, you re-address your mindset. Today you be kind to yourself. It starts with you, and it starts right now, ok?
Let’s fill this town with Hot, Happpy Bitches!!!
ps. Get in touch if you run a class or club in London that you’d like Project Hot Bitch to pop down and review- we’d love to!
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