THE BASICS: A series of 6 or 7 aside mixed tag rugby leagues played around London- I play at Paradise Park in Highbury on a Monday night. In case you wanted to stalk me.


THE “CLASS”: Now then, I have been playing tag rugby with Try Tag Rugby for around 15 months (yes yes, to those I play with, it really has been that long and no I really am still this bad). And so I wasn’t sure if I should include this in the Project Hot Bitch chronicles. But a Hot BItch is also a Diligent Bitch, and my game of tag is not only awesome exercise, but also the one time in the week that I forget about the pain of Project Hot Bitch whilst still enduring PHB training- mainly because I am wrapped up in the wonderful feeling of a team sport I love, and also yelling indecipherable instructions to my poor team mates (who neither need such instructions, or indeed usually heed them).

I currently play on a team called Boooom, although I have also been a member of Shapow and Boom (Boooom’s blessed forefather). The concept is simple- you choose a league to enter, get together a team of about 10 girls and guys (6 or 7 on the pitch at one time, with at least 3 girls, and a couple of subs), register, pay up, and then turn up every week to give the opposition a thrashing. It’s a non-contact sport, where tackling is done in the form of ripping velcro tags off of an opponent’s shorts.

The idea of playing on a mixed team was terrifying to begin with, but the art of avoiding your tags being ripped off means you need to be speedy, swift and good at wiggling your hips, and so girls on the team are an asset, and any team made up of good guys will appreciate and utilise your skills!

Girls score 2 points per try, guys one, and each game lasts 40 mins, split into two 20 minute halves. You need to be half decent at throwing and catching, or in my case smiling and making a sad little “but I tried!!!” face at team mates when you fail at both skills consistently.

It is an awesome run around, and good for a competitive Bitch like myself, although there is definitely an element of fun that I haven’t seen in single-sex sports or indeed rugby in the past. Tonight, we played a very fast team, who had a strange way of flailing at you when you caught the ball- I think it was a tactic to confuse the enemy, which clearly worked as we lost by one try (ONE TRY!!) and so next week in the team talk I will be making everyone practice their flails. Moo had been off with a broken finger for the previous 7 weeks, which she was dealt in her debut onto the Tag Rugby pitch- yet she came back this week and was all over the opposition. I nearly cried tears of ecstasy at one of her delicate yet deadly tries. Moo, you were my hero tonight!

THE VERDICT: I bloody love Try Tag Rugby, which I guess is apparent as I have been forcing poor team mates to endure my cack-handedness for well over a year now, but I thoroughly recommend a team sport to be worked into a PHB regime, as it takes your focus off of the actual exercise, and lets you concentrate on KICKING SOME ASS. Which is a skill all Hot Bitches should hone.

THE EXTRAS: A social beer (or water for the Monday night virtuous individuals among us) is always on the cards- as Try Tag partners with one local pub in the area where each league is played, and players go back there afterwards for a natter and a to let their sweat dry into their clothes a bit. Phibbers in Highbury puts on the most delicious chicken and chip feast after the matches. Which I obviously always avoid because I am trying to adhere to HB rules. Pah! Who am I kidding?! I stuffed my face after the match tonight!!! A girl’s gotta eat!

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